Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Freedom of choice

Freedom of choice and freedom of speech is phrases that have been thrown around a lot lately in every country across the world. We all demand it and we say that we all grant it to others.

Legally we have freedom of choice, but do we truly have freedom of choice emotionally and professionally? Do you experience having the freedom to make a choice even if it means you will make a mistake?

When you freely chose and made a mistake.....did it lead to the end of your relationship, your marriage?
When you made a choice and it was the wrong decision.....did it prevent you from being promoted at work or maybe even got you fired?

So do we truly have freedom of choice?
Are we allowed to make a mistake in order to grow and learn?

Are you giving others the freedom of choice?
Are you willing to support your spouse to grow by allowing them to make a mistake and standing by them in love.....not with hard words.
Are you supporting your staff to grow/learn/develop by allowing them to make a mistake and then encourage them towards the correct or better decisions.

We all want the freedom.
Are we giving what we want?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Listening.....are we really listening?

Forgive me for not having been active on the blog the last 20 days. I hope what I learned in this time will support you in your life as it did mine.

You will certainly understand what I am about to write, but the big question is: 'Are you willing to listen to what I have to say?'

Listening is one thing, but then to truly hear what the person has to say is something completely different. With great sadness I realised how, with the best of intentions, we do listen when someone speaks to us but we do not truly hear them. The minute they say something that we do not want to hear we unconsciously stop listening. We then either interrupt them or just wait for them to finish so that we can convince them otherwise.

When this happens and we do not hear, then you can't truly understand and connect with that person. You can't make any positive contribution to their life, your relationship or the situation at hand. You will find yourself going in circles with the same issue or situation repeating itself over and over again. Frustration and resentment is the end result and relationships get hurt. All we end up doing is delaying the positive outcome we are hoping for and in search of.

Did you hear what I just said?

Where in your life are you not listening?
What situation in your life are you listening but not hearing?

It is hard allowing yourself to truly hear, because you realise in that moment that you are not in control.......you cannot change/control the other person to get what you want. In that moment you have to face your fears. In that moment you have to risk......you have to risk love, loss, hurt, having to grow, having to wait, having to face the consequences!

I started to hear and am hoping for love, risking loss, am facing the consequences and often experience hurt. But I do understand and therefore are able to make a conscious choice from the heart.....not one driven by emotions.

I listen.....
I hear.....
I understand.....
I choose......
I hope.....