The Importance of Being Honest

More and more I come to realise how the word "honesty" and being an honest person is nothing more than convenience to most people.

Most people are being honest only when it suits them. They are honest only when asked the question, but will not out of their own share the absolute truth even when they know it is affecting someone else they care about.

It might be that they do not wish to hurt someone......
Maybe they wish to avoid closing a back door......
Or they don't want to admit being in the wrong in some area.....
Many times it is trying to save face as it were, that you will keep thinking good of them.

Reality, as we know it, is that the truth ALWAYS comes out sooner or later. Not having shared the absolute truth from the start, all you have achieved is making the consequences greater than what it would have been!!! It might cost the company more money. The accumulative cost or problem might be greater now. Instead of hurting one person, they trusted you and shared the story with others, and now more people get hurt and distrust you also.

The hurt or stress the other person(s) experience will be greater, not to mention the hurt or stress they experienced the days, weeks, month leading up to finding the truth. The back door you hoped to keep open will most probably be replaced by a brick wall for the future.....no chance to restore. News spreads fast and you will loose face with more people than you ever would have thought possible. 

How do you restore that kind of trust that got broken?

The hardest part is that you will have to live with it the rest of your life, those regrest that we all carry at some point, until you get to the place where you finally are able to accept forgiveness......and hope to receive forgiveness. Till that day, your lack of absolute truth will eat your heart in the moments you are with yourself. Those regrets will consume your thoughts. It might never go away and your life will bear the fruit.

There is nothing more destructive in your life than carrying guilt with you. I refer to it as being a silent killer. You can try to fool yourself that it doesn't matter, try to keep busy to ignore it, try to replace it with someone else or something else......but it will always return.

So have the courage and be absolutely honest, speaking the whole truth right now no matter what it might cost you. Today is your chance to change your life. The choice is yours..........and remember, you don't get to choose or control the consequences, but your choice is in your hands.

And there it is....

I have come to experience in my own personal and corporate life just as much I have seen it and experienced it with my clients that the ability to live in the moment of now...actual reality...is one of the hardest things to accomplish in life.

The other two options that for some reason we find more compelling and a lot easier to spend most of our time in is the past or the future. Scary thing is that both of these are not real anymore or real yet.

Lets look at the future as this is where we are moving towards in life. There are two options in terms of action you can partake in. Either you will be planning productively or you will be in a negative state just worrying about the future. The former of these two are obviously where we want to find ourselves being involved in. Most important to plan realistically, to set action goals that you have the character and competence for and you know you are passionate about. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure and the worry will eventually set in as you fail to accomplish these tasks.

Which bring us to worry. We have all heard it and know that to worry about something will not make any difference, no positive difference anyway. To be real about it, spending time worrying is one of the most damaging habits you can fall into. The moment you start to worry about something, which has not happened and might not happen at all, negative and destructive emotions fill your mind. The intensity just get greater and greater and the story lines you create just get more and more. Apart from the state of anxiety and or depression it creates in you, you harm relationships around you for no real and good purpose at all.

And then....well, and there it is!

What is going to happen will happen, it might be what you worried about or some form of it, or something completely different. And guess what, to worry about it now, with the obvious statement of 'see I told you so...I knew this will happen' is not going to change anything and certainly will not help your reality right now or going forward.

You will find yourself in one of two places each time you experience something in life. You will either see and experience something as a PROBLEM or as an OPPORTUNITY. 

What then? Well, back to positive planning and staying in what is real. Keep going and keep growing!

So the past is pretty much the same negative state as to worry about the future, because when you stroll around in the past you simply replace worry with regret and or guilt.

It is awesome to remember something from the past in order to learn from certain events while you make effective plans for the future, but not to get stuck there with regret or guilt or blaming others.

What are you passionate about?
What are you busy with?

It is okay if you do not have it all figured out perfectly from the start...just make a start and the rest will fall into place over time as certain doors will close and some will open. Just stay focused on what you are passionate about and enjoy what you do.

Enjoy who you are...you are worth it!!!