The Cost of Pride

The dictionary defines pride as a feeling of pleasure from one's own achievements. In other words it is, in your eyes, the feeling of pleasure you get from having achieved something based on your own power, knowledge and abilities.

This feeling of pleasure flowing from pride has a flip side as well, which is the feeling of disappointment when the outcome is not what you wanted. When you are driven by pride, this feeling of disappointment most often accompany behavior like anger, denial, conflict, lies, justification and excuses. This often happends in an attempt to find someone else to blame cause this makes you feel better and strokes your sense of pride.

This sense of pride is always tied to things, be it physical things like a big house, a smart car or label clothing. It might also be tied to accomplishments like winning a sports game, closing a business deal or getting the beautiful girl to love you.

The problem then, or reality of life, is that in order for you to be happy you constantly need to assemble or get hold of new things. Why? Because physical things always change and never are a constant, therefore your joy and happiness can't be a constant either and will always change.

Pride is a sense of 'being' that grows with these things in your life. The more things you have the greater the invitation for your pride to grow and the more opportunities you have to experience a sense of loss or disappointment. The end result is you growing more and more distant from the true you as the you are more and more tied to these things you assemble.

1 John 2:15-17 states, "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the things of this world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the things of this world. And the things of this world passes away, and the lust thereof..."

The opposite of pride is humility. Humility is not being weak!

We have this incorrect idea of humility being a state where you always back down, turn the other cheek and play second fiddle. Humility is simply the choice and ability to stand on the word of God, to trust the Father.

When you achieve something great in life because God gave you the ability and the mission then your celebration is not pride in your own ability but rather the celebration of your faith in a trustworthy Father.

When on that journey something does not match the outcome you wanted, then you know it is not the end yet but a necessary step on your way to victory, because the Father wants the best for you! This view allows you to grow as a person and to not get beaten by life.

So change your perspective on life, reach out to a living and loving Father!

You are worth it!

Desires of Life

It is interesting how when I ask clients and even friends what it is that they want, most of the time they can't answer that question. Yet when you ask what they do not want the answers just seem to flow.

One thing that I have come to learn from all these sessions is that we seem to be living a life completely in contrast to what we confess and pretend to be living. We paint this picture to the outside world that is not worth the canvas we try to paint it on. And it does not fit so we just cope and carry on and in the process get to know more and more of that which we do not want.

Yet in His Word our Father wishes for us to have a life in which our joy may be full.

So what does your picture look like when your joy is full? I am not talking about things in itself, but your life as a whole. Your spirit life, your relationships (marriage, children, friends), your working day and your health.

When last did you take the time to consider your joy, to look at your life and envisage the picture of you being filled with joy? What does that look like?

If you don't know then make the time and start with just one color in the painting, one thing that needs to change or begin in your life allowing that light breeze of joy to whisper into your heart. Once that is established the awesomeness of that joy and the life it brings will motivate you and give you courage to address the rest, to open the windows of your heart and let joy gush into your heart. Having your heart full of joy.

So what next?

Start with that one little thing. Start to live it consistently so that people may see and declare it about you. Maybe you need to become trustworthy, punctual, or just learn to say no. Whatever it is, start living it so that it becomes part of who you are and that people who are in fellowship with you may experience it.

My wish for you is to start practicing the truth of who you wish to be. And not only the person you wish to be, but the person you declare to be!!

You do not have to start changing many things all at once as there is a powerful truth and principal in life that supports you for the good and the bad, so you need to pay attention here. Light draws light and darkness draws more darkness. So your ways will draw similar experiences to you and your time of fellowship with people and with things will draw the same to you. You are quickly consumed by these and the light (joy) in your life will start to shine brighter or the darkness (sorrow, frustration, anger) will take you to dark places.

There is a powerful Chinese Proverb that says: "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is today." So don't postpone, don't give life the opportunity to have you sit here 20 years from now...even one year from now...saying that you wish you had planted that tree. Start today and a year from now you will rest in the shade of that tree. Doing things different tomorrow than what you did today will bring change.

So make that choice, you are worth it!!

A Picture of You

We are all familiar with the saying about you looking into the mirror and wondering if you like what you see.

Sometimes this was said to you by someone you disappointed and they shared that saying with you in the hope that you will change your mind or hoping that you will feel bad. Others may have said this to inspire or motivate you with the decision you are about to make in life.

However when you do find yourself all by yourself looking into that mirror, what do you see? Who do you see?

I am focusing on the YOU aspect now as in the next message we will touch on the bigger picture.

So what is the picture you see of yourself?

I have made some mistakes in my life, some bigger than others, but enough to present a real tainted picture that you do not wish to display at any gallery. Time allows us to learn from mistakes, to make different choices and become a better person. So instead of just that one tainted picture you can provide a sequence of pictures over time that will inspire and move people.

Over the weekend I was touched by the Lord on this topic as He asked me what I see? This morning I received the following scripture 1 John 1:9 which reads: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

The powerful thing to grasp here is that when you do ask for forgiveness, then God not only forgives you but He also forgets! In other words the picture He sees has completely transformed!

And you need to get this....the picture He sees has completely transformed!!

Yet you struggle to accept this new untainted and holy picture of yourself . You struggle to accept that you are worth it, to let go of that intense emotional feeling of disgust, disappointment and guilt that sin carries with it.
You spend time with people who remind you of those sins, people who keep putting that tainted picture in front of your face.

While you hold onto that tainted picture you keep yourself from living in the victory God has for you and the peace that He wishes you to live in. You keep that beautiful and untainted picture from people around you that will inspire them and touch their lives....and change your own experience of life!

So what is blinding you? Who is keeping you blinded?

What spots on that tainted picture you are looking at is causing you to find solace in dark corners, being ashamed to step into the light?

1 John 2:28 "And now, little children, abide in Him, that when He appears, we may have confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His coming."

The minute you take action, by asking forgiveness, by looking at the new picture, and by spending time with people who celebrate your light, you will regain and grow in confidence!

So may you see yourself through the eyes of God and may the light shine in you!

You are worth it! 

Standing Strong

I just recently made a mistake which I have managed to avoid doing for the last 6 years of my life. The impact of this mistake was just so profound that it really emphasised the importance of that insight in life.

I am so blessed that on that same day I received the following Word in my quiet time, 1 Peter 2:11-12.
"Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles..."

I made a double booking by mistake and both commitments was important to both parties, thus leaving one party being very disappointed in me. It was a honest mistake, but a mistake none the less.

My relationship with that party will heal and be strong again, yet the great impact was the damage that my soul experienced. I felt weak. The strength of my character which is built and founded on trust was wounded. My word was now being questioned and I was left with a sense of vulnerability. 

The scripture made so much sense to me. The minute we get involved with any form of sin (that which is contrary to the truth) our soul suffers and gets wounded. It is our very soul (mind, will, emotions) that determine the person that others experience and that we live with daily. If your soul is not healthy, nothing in your life can and will be healthy either. 

Your sense of self-worth and self esteem will suffer and it will be impossible for you to inspire a sense of trust. You often find yourself having to convince people and justifying your actions where in truth you are just trying to convince yourself, trying to make yourself feel better.

So where are you making commitments that you fail to honor?
Telling your children you will play with them or help them with something....and fail to do so without them having to remind you and question you time and time again?
Failing to honor a meeting you had with a friend or colleague?

Where are you being deceitful and or telling lies?
Doing something nice or a favour for your wife in the hope that when you ask her a question later that she would agree.
Saying you did what you were asked to do...just to then rush and get it done before anyone notice.

Yet you can build your strength today...this very moment you can start to change your life by the choices you make. 

So choose to be trustworthy. Choose to be honorable. Choose to be a person that you are proud of and you can guard your soul and stand strong when you are tested.

You are worth it!