Being real.....living life!

Have you ever looked up to someone in your life? That one person whom you trust with so much and see them as your pillar of strength.

I am sure we all have and then just to realise at some point that they are also capable of making mistakes. That they are not perfect. And then we face the possibility of everything changing. We face loosing a relationship or embracing the realness of that person....allowing them to be human just as we are.

The reason that person was able to be this pillar of strength to you is the very result of that person having made many mistakes in his/her life before. The reason that person can support you with such compassion and connection is because that person have been there themself. And while they are there for you, they will still make mistakes which will help them to support others who one day will face the same challenge. The question to ask is, are they willing to acknowledge the mistake, take responsibility for it and learn from it?

Then make your choice, the one that will change your life and your relationship. Which ever choice you make, do know that there is no right and wrong here. It is simply the one that you need, allowing you to deal with the situation best.

Just always be real and live the life that allows you to wake up the next morning and embrace life, no matter how challenging it might be at times. As long as you learn and move forward.

"Do not confuse motion with progress!" - Alfred A Montapert

Just not enough.....

Have you ever experienced that giving all you have just is not enough?

Where does that leave you then? Are you happy or respectful enough to let it go? Respect becomes a big word here as this refers to respect not just of yourself, but also for the other party involved.

Making a mistake here has big consequences. You are not in control of these consequences and trying to control these, as we almost always attempt to, gets you into just greater consequences. The magnitude and impact of these consequences will not stop until you stop trying to get control.

It is a weird thing, to get 'control' you have to let go. And boy do we struggle with this.

Relationships is just that......giving all you have just might not be enough to get the other person or party to reciprocate the feeling or decision. The experience you get from your efforts not being enough will determine your next choice and the consequences to follow. The message you get in this moment will have a life changing impact.....so choose wisely with great courage!

Knowing that the one persons 'no' does not account for everybody out there's opinion. One person's opinion is not worth shaping your idea of who you are!

Letting go.....

Just yesterday I was asked by a friend if it is possible to ever be satisfied in life. Or will there always be something more that you need, that you want?

When you get the house you wanted.....then you wish to have a bigger one or one with a swimming pool or three garages, etc.

Yes it is possible. When you get to the place where you are satisfied with who you are, then you can be satisfied with what you have in life when you have achieved your dream. However, what I did realise is what we do struggle with is "letting go".

Letting go of something or someone that we truly want, love and appreciate. Letting go requires you to completely give away all efforts (however conscious or unconscious) you are making to have some sort of control. To have an imput of some sort......to be present or thought of. Doing a favour just so that he/she will not forget you (has to think of you!).

Why is this so difficult, this letting go?

I know that I'm struggling letting go of someone at the moment because it is so damn hard believing that you will win her heart back......that she might return to you!! I so wish to convince her that I am the one, that I am worth being with, worth loving and the one that can and will make her happy.

Letting go is not about what you need, but what the other person needs to make relationship possible again.

It still is so damn hard. Experiencing loss is never easy.....it is the dark unknown we fear....the feelings of hurt, rejection and loneliness. Everything comes to an end...and so will this unknown. Scary part.....it can only reach an end if it gets a start at some point.

Faith, hope and love.

Strenght of Character

I have just been reminded again of the importance of being true to your character.

It is important to walk a healthy journey to establish a sound character first of all. For most people this journey in itself is something they avoid their entire life.....or most of it.

Why? Beacuse this will take them out of their comfort zone. The reality that they might loose 'friends'. Because it is convenient for them to ignore true character. The damage and hurt created because of this avoidance is great and leads to much sadness one day. That question "what if" that you will carry, and the wonder that goes with it.

So what is character? A sound character is based on goodness. It is based on the respect that God carries of you and for you. Because in the end only His opinion of good behavior is what is going to bring joy and love and this is what is going to matter and last eternally.

Yet when you have reached the point of establishing a sound character in your life, then living in line with it is even more important. The minute you start making choices that is not in line with your character, then you start to experience a strong sense of guilt. You start believing that you are not a good person anymore and a very unhealthy stone starts rolling down the hill.
Unless you act with courage and start making choices to re-align with your character, you will start loosing yourself and relationships around you will suffer and increase the guilt and sense of being a bad person. Which you are not, but you are simply acting out of character which creates this experience.

Have the courage today to make choices in line with your character, people know who you truly are and they miss you. They are waiting for the true you to return....because that person is stunning to be with!

The choice is yours.