Leadership

 "The problem with the world is that we have so many managers, but not enough leaders!" - Frans Stroebel

Today there is such a big focus on turning people into leaders. What is being presented is the 5 steps and the 7 steps of what you need to do in order to become a good leader.

Reality......you can apply the 5 steps and do all 7 steps, but unless you grow in your entire being to become a good leader those steps will make no difference.

The role of a leader is to Provide and Protect. Until your being grows into this role....you cannot be a good leader. So what does this role look like you may ask? To Provide and Protect includes two areas:

1) Trust
        a. Character
        b. Competence
2) Security
        a. Emotional (attitude) stability
        b. Financial responsibility

Just look at the areas where you step into a leader role: marriage, family, team leader, supervisor, manager, director, CEO, minister and president. This list is not complete!

What does your relationships look like within these areas? We are so quick to blame other people and other things when these are not good. Yet if you go and look at these with great honesty in line with Trust and Security.......where do you need to grow? What do you need to ask forgiveness for? What do you need to take responsibility for?

Again I will say, that at the heart of success lies relationship.

Trust.....what now?

A while ago I went to see the Head of Department in a very large organization. The purpose was to see if they have any need for my services - which is to increase performance by focusing on character, trust, etc. - and also at the same time to get advice on what needs there currently are in these large private corporates.

My experience of the meeting was good. There was no need for my services, but a commitment was made to forward a couple of contacts to me and let me know about a possible intervention where I can support them.

I never heard anything so I followed up. A commitment was made on when he was going to send me the information. Yet, that day came and went...along with the same excuse as previously. A new commitment was made and again, that day came and went.

My question is, how does one go about this.......especially when you learn from this experience that your services, especially where trust is concerned, are so needed there. How do you go about this without upsetting the potential client and 'pissing' him off?

If this is my experience, how many others in his department and company is having the same experience? And what are the consequences?

Where in my life am I making commitments and fail to honor them? What are the unconscious consequences of this in my life?

Holding on or letting go

How often do we find ourselves in situations where we experience conflict or disagreements or some kind of issue and it just seems to repeat itself.

Not necessarily with the same person, not necessarily each week, yet when it does happen it is so frustrating and it drains so much energy out of you and affects your entire day....even other relationships during the rest of the week.

Aghhhh, if only these people will open their eyes and do things the way they should be!!!!!

Does that sound familiar? Have you ever thought about looking at your perspective? When last did you try to 'grow', look at new ways of doing things? The pace of change in today's world makes what worked today less and less relevant by next week. The scary thing is, when you are unwilling to grow, people loose trust in you. I know it sounds hard, but it is true. Those willing to grow are moving rapidly ahead and you are being left behind.

So you might find yourself trying to improve people's lives by the only way you know....and believe that it is the way....and you are good at it. It is trying to force-fit everything into whatever you're good at doing. As Abraham Maslow stated: 'He that is good with a hammer tends to think everything is a nail.'

Are you willing to let go and start growing?

Attitude & Life

I am just reminded today of the impact attitude has on your life.

A highly successful individual moved from one department to another within the same company. Within 6 weeks her performance were in question and her sales followed suit.

So what changed? She still had the same client base. Her working hours were the same. Nothing at home changed to cause strain.

What did change was her working environment, familier faces. Did she manage to build relationships with people in the new department? No.

What followed was unconscious resentment towards the new people and her focused shifted as her attitude was affected. It was her own choice to do nothing.....to say nothing. The one thing that does not care about how you feel is the results that stem from your attitude.

The question now is: Do you care? And are you going to take action?

Your self belief and confidence now lies at a knife edge and time is not your friend. The consequences are firmly in your hands. Go on, take action, you are worth it!!

Experience vs Words

I just had a great session with a client and am reminded again of 'experience'.

The experience which I am referring to is not an age thing, or that you have been there and done that. I am referring to the experience people have of you.

There might be a huge difference between what you think you are doing and what others are experiencing. I might tell you that I love you, yet you might experience the exact opposite from my behavior. I might think that I am doing you a great favour, when you might experience it completely different.

You might think that people trust you.....but is that truly what they experience? This one has a huge impact in all our relationships, at work and at home!!!

It is so important to ensure that our behavior in life matches what our intend is to that what others are experiencing. Otherwise you are just setting yourself up for great disappointment and problems. Not even to mention the poor relationship that flows from this......one which you might think is a sound relationship!

How do I go about this experience process.....simply ask!
And we can only ask if we are willing to listen and accept the truth.....even if it hurts!

It is all worth it....and experiencing these authentic relationships around you creates tremendous joy and peace. Go on, try it!

Perspective & commitment

The father of my one best friend past away last week. Today I attended his funeral. Initially I thought that I was okay, seeing that I have been spending time with my friend and his family the last three days. Yes at the funeral there were a couple of moments that can possibly be life changing for me.

I say possibly because I need to take action in order for it to become life-changing.

One question that just kept on returning to me was: "What will people be celebrating the day that I die?"

And what values am I living from so firmly that people, all people, will know that about me? Or will I be just another person who allowed circumstances in life to determine who I am? Living from day to day, just doing the best I can.....and believing that it is all God's will.

Crap man, what am I going to do about it? What am I going to do with this awesome life that God gave me...all these gifts, opportunities, talents and people around me!!!!

Perspective in life....it is moments like these that allows us to get a glimpse on perspective that we need. The next question is, what are you going to do about it.

There is a Chinese Proverb that reads: "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago! The second best time to plant a tree is today!"

So what am I going to do about it today? I decided that I am off to the farm this weekend, to sit in the veld and get perspective, to make commitments.......to plant some trees!!!

Regrets & the future

I got a call over the weekend from friends asking me if maybe I can look after their 5 kids and stay over one night. What would have been a evening where most things are all about me, turned into time spent where almost everything is not about me, but rather to be aware of 5 children.

Being open to truly hear them, to get their hearts, I ended up with a couple of situations or moments where I learned so much about life.

I just became so aware of areas in my own life where I have such good intentions, but are not rooted in my beliefs. This questions trust. Trust in myself and others being able to trust me. I just became so sadened that I am becoming aware of these things now.....and not when I was 10 years old like the one little boy.

Then I read a Chinese proverb that says: "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today."

The question is, am I going to plant that tree today...or regret in twenty years from now that I did not do it today. The choice indeed is mine.